Sunday, January 2, 2011

Vajayjays and Wangs Galore!

Oh.. the joy of meeting someone new online! There are the emails that you exchange, the IM chats you pour over, and the txt messages that you decipher. Normally, this is what happens online...you know a few exchanges is the norm, but not this time. Mississippi is the guy who went straight from one email exchange to one chat, to the first date. I made the first move and sent him a quick note letting him know that I was interested in him. He curtly responded back and I didn't think anything more of it.

Then, late one night, I was just checking my email and I get a ping from someone who wanted to IM me. Mississippi! I agreed to talk and we had a quick chat to which he revealed that he was a medical student and had barely any free time. I was in the middle of baking cookies for work for the next day so I wrapped up the conversation and we agreed to meet at a sushi place a few days later. He told me he had a sweet tooth so I said that I would bring him cookies for our first date. He was ecstatic and said that he was lucky he had a met a girl that was not only beautiful but liked to bake as well. Cute! It melted my heart right then and there. He was super sweet and I was beginning to have a major crush on this guy. 

We met up for sushi and before I got out of the car, I quickly checked his profile again. I was debating on wearing heels or low boots but I wasn't sure how tall he was. I realized that he was way shorter than I thought he was...5 7'! Eeeeep...I decided on the low boots because I didn't want to be taller than him. I know that height shouldn't really matter that much but for whatever reason, I could not get his height out of my head! I went ahead on the date because it really isn't a huge deal breaker. He was really easy to talk to and he told me ridiculous stories. The best ones include his next door neighbor, who showed on his doorstep because he got kicked out of his house. The neighbor asked him if he could spend the night and in exchange he would....GET THIS..."suck his cock." When he said that, I almost choked on my wine! He quickly responded, "No, thanks. I'm not gay." His neighbor said, "that's ok. I can suck dick real good so trust me, you will like it." WHAT?!?! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?! Wow! I really didn't know how to respond. How do you respond to something like that?

Then he tells me how he was at the airport a while back and a rand-o guy solicited him for sex. Um...Seriously?! Stop with the gay porn talk. Really. Just stop!! After getting over that shock, he proceeded to tell me that he had just finished a rotation and was really interested in going into the OBGYN route. Ok...Let me get this straight...First, he tells me that his neighbor tried to entice him into sucking his wang, then he tells me about his solicitor for sex, but the best part was that he finishes by telling me he wants to examine vajayjays for a living? WHAT!? Who am I on a date with? He seemed so normal at first and so charming. I dunno. Maybe he was nervous on the first date? But really tho, was he? Was he?!?!

Sigh. I always attract the most strangest men. I really really do. He was leaving for a family vaca the next day so he wasn't going to be reachable for a week. Thank goodness! I needed a bit of time to process all that I had learned about him in one night. Maybe we'll go out again...or maybe not. It's not his height that bothered me anymore but all the rest of the sex talk that came about that night.. vajayjays and wangs. Just a little too much... too soon.

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