Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Nipple boy..get over yourself.

Sigh.. so the guys you meet thru your friends are not always the way to go when looking for a date. A girlfriend of mine introduced me to Nipple boy a few years ago and she thought he would be a good guy to get to know better. Yea, he was cute, but I was kinda seeing someone at the time and I didn't want to start a relationship that I couldn't commit to. Then a few months later, we saw each other and he was wasted. Completely bat-shit wasted! I was in a serious relationship then and he went bat-shit crazy because he was bat-shit wasted...He said some completely obscene things that I will not repeat and harassed me to no end about the guy I was seeing. Needless to say, I just ignored him and left shortly after our little encounter.

About a year later, he found me on a social networking site and we chatted for a few days. He asked me out on a date and I figured that a year had gone by so maybe he had grown up. I agreed to meet up a few days later for dinner. I found out so much about him and he seemed completely harmless so I agreed to meet up with him again.

Fast forward to a ridiculous holiday where the expectations of the night are extremely high...I didn't have concrete plans for that night and was just going to wing it and end up at whatever party fancied me. I got a txt from Nipple boy asking me where I was and what I was doing for the night. I said that I didn't know and would get back to him. About an hour later, my phone dinged with a txt from him telling me that he needed to know where I was so that he could kiss me at the stroke of midnight. At this point I already had taken a few shots to take the edge off of the night and didn't think when I txted him the approximate location to where I was headed. I never told him to meet me there. Less than 10 minutes of arriving to my destination, I got a phone call from a very drunk Nipple boy telling me he was downstairs and needed to be buzzed in... Ummmmm..WHAT?!?!

I agreed to come down and let him in only because he told me that he had paid the cab driver to drive him from VA to DC. I felt bad he had driven across state lines to meet with me. Even tho, I never invited him to. I let him in the building and on the elevator ride up, he corned me in the elevator and we started making out. I pushed him aside and said the only way to hang out with me was if he was going to behave... behave my ass!

The rest of the evening consisted of me talking to my friends, while he brooded quietly in the corner with his arms across his chest. He watched me like a hawk and it was too eerily for my liking. Every move I made, I could feel his eyes just wandering over me possessively and never letting me out of his sight. He was there less than an hour when all one of my friends asked me to dance.. sure why the f* not? I was barely moving on the dance floor when he came up behind my friend and tapped him on the shoulder. My friend responded, "My bad dude, is this your girl?" I shook my head and said, "No, we're not dating." Nipple boy got pissed off and stormed away looking for his jacket. When he couldn't find it, he found me and demanded that I get his jacket so he could leave. I didn't know that by letting people know the truth that we were not dating constituted making a scene and storming off.

I asked if he wanted me to walk him downstairs and he just replied, "Don't do me any favors." I said, "It's not a favor. I want to." He just grabbed the jacket out of my hands said said again, "Don't do me any favors." I felt bad but there was no reason for him to leave so abruptly. He called me twice in less than two minutes and I didn't pick up because I didn't know what to say. I was about to send him an apology txt when he txts me, "I come to what? Thanks alot. This is how I get done." Excuse me? what? I never said, "Yes, please Nipple boy, come to this party with me! I want you!" There was no need for that txt. I checked my profile on a social networking site a few minutes later and in my mini feed pops up his status about how life is game and he is going to play it..you know who you are. W.T.F. Oh honey please!!!

I didn't realize two things. A - That we are five year olds and being completely ridiculous was in our nature and B- That apparently I was HIS girl and not allowed to speak to anyone of the opposite sex and if I did mr. caveman would come and whisk me back to his cave. He was completely out of line and not to mention bat-shit wasted again. I have come to the conclusion that when sober, Nipple boy is a great guy to hang out with. The minute that a drop of alcohol touches his tongue, prince charming turns into Maleficent and wants to keep me forever captive in his dragon lair. WTF. No thanks. If I wanted to meet a psychotic alcoholic, I would just go online. (No offense to my fellow online daters, but not everyone is sweet and nice) I've had my fair share of ridiculous first dates and would rather much go down memory lane with a stranger than with a possessive and jelaous Nipple boy.

P.S. The reason for his nickname? Well mr. classy has pierced nipples and it just so happens that at one point in time, he had that as his profile picture. Well done darlin'. well done.