Tuesday, August 2, 2011

So..that's IT?!!?

So with the last post, the ex came back in my life very briefly and for a split second I lost my mind. No, not in the gimme-a-straight-jacket kind, but in the yea-maybe-he-has-changed kind...  Alas no. In the weeks following that ill-fated email lots of things happened. We met up because I still had something important of his. It was awkward at first because he looked so damn good.. It didn't help that the weeks leading up to our meeting, he was texting me that he wanted a little bit of alone time with me. I, of course, just played along to his little game, never letting him know that I didn't feel the same way. That changed when I saw him that night. We didn't get a chance to really do anything but talk for about 10 minutes because my roommate came home soon after and he quickly left. Bummer!

A few weeks later, I was still receiving txts from him about how we should get together and ya know.. I always played it off and then one afternoon, I said the hell with it! If this was going to happen, it was going to happen today!! I was still attracted to him when he came over and I'm not the first to get it on with an ex so why the hell not.. I'll tell you WHY THE HELL NOT! Don't do it. It was awful. Not awful in the sense that I went home crying with my make-up smeared and begged him to come back to me. It was awful in the way where you wonder - does he even know what he's doing?

Yes, my dear friends, it was bad. Way bad. Imagine a pig going at it with all his might and not really accomplishing much. And I didn't feel a thing. Nope. Well, a little thing. I felt completely and utterly free. Gone was the desire to get back together him. Gone was the desire to ever call him again. Gone was the desire, even to remain friends with him and tell him everything about my life. It was closure. It was my closure. Everyone needs closure and this was mine. To wrap up and put away on my shelf and never look at again. I'm lucky to have that and lucky that I didn't fall into the rabbit hole and get lost all over again.