So..that's IT?!!?

So with the last post, the ex came back in my life very briefly and for a split second I lost my mind. No, not in the gimme-a-straight-jacket kind, but in the yea-maybe-he-has-changed kind...  Alas no. In the weeks following that ill-fated email lots of things happened. We met up because I still had something important of his. It was awkward at first because he looked so damn good.. It didn't help that the weeks leading up to our meeting, he was texting me that he wanted a little bit of alone time with me. I, of course, just played along to his little game, never letting him know that I didn't feel the same way. That changed when I saw him that night. We didn't get a chance to really do anything but talk for about 10 minutes because my roommate came home soon after and he quickly left. Bummer!

A few weeks later, I was still receiving txts from him about how we should get together and ya know.. I always played it off and then one afternoon, I said the hell with it! If this was going to happen, it was going to happen today!! I was still attracted to him when he came over and I'm not the first to get it on with an ex so why the hell not.. I'll tell you WHY THE HELL NOT! Don't do it. It was awful. Not awful in the sense that I went home crying with my make-up smeared and begged him to come back to me. It was awful in the way where you wonder - does he even know what he's doing?

Yes, my dear friends, it was bad. Way bad. Imagine a pig going at it with all his might and not really accomplishing much. And I didn't feel a thing. Nope. Well, a little thing. I felt completely and utterly free. Gone was the desire to get back together him. Gone was the desire to ever call him again. Gone was the desire, even to remain friends with him and tell him everything about my life. It was closure. It was my closure. Everyone needs closure and this was mine. To wrap up and put away on my shelf and never look at again. I'm lucky to have that and lucky that I didn't fall into the rabbit hole and get lost all over again.

You're Here! and so am I. Here's why!

If you stumbled upon this blog by accident, well..WELCOME! I am a recently 27 yo single gal looking for love in the political world of DC. I was dating a guy whom I thought I was going to marry. We went thru the whole timeline..meeting, dating, and then finally moving together. He bought a house and I moved in with him and we started a life together. I even got a promise ring.. Yea I know. Mistake numero uno! I've read the comments of what a promise ring is and I vow never to get one again. It's a fake engagement ring. It is and its not for me. Anyway, it was great.. sorta like playing house. However, things just went south after we opened our doors to a family member and then all of a sudden, I found myself on the outside looking in. We had our issues just like everyone else, so that was not the downfall of our relationship, but it didn't help to have someone else living with us as we were going thru our "rocky moments." Everything was split down the middle and some things, I left  because the fighting just wasn't worth it. So I was ousted and had to find a place to live. Well, living in this city is pretty expensive, so I did what anyone would do. I found a free place. My parents. YIKES! I'm only here temporarily but over the past few months, I have come to terms with life and where I stand. Who cares that I live here? It might suck that I really can't bring anyone home, but I don't pay rent! I would much rather have more cash than to have sex whenever I want. No, I'm lying! But having more money helps in this economy!

So after finding myself single and alone, I did what anyone else does going thru a breakup does. I cried. I got depressed. I lost a few pounds or so. I felt utterly alone. And then something incredible happened. After I cried a river, I had to build a bridge and get over it.. so I stopped crying. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I picked up the pieces and started getting my life together. Along the way, I signed up for online dating sites and started regaining the social life I used to have. I have a very small circle of friends and they don't really go out at all, so I decided that I really had to do this on my own. So I did.. I embarked on a whole different world. Online Dating. I've been in this world for about 2 months now and I felt the need to share the experiences with everyone because I know I'm not the only gal who has ever gone thru this, nor will I be the last.

So here goes. Wish me luck on this journey. I may find the person I am going to marry, or it might not happen, but it's worth giving it a try.