A year - oh what happens in a year

Well I'll tell you what happens in a year - people change, they fall in love, they fall out of love, and they move on. However, this did not happen to me.. Not one bit! I have been rather busy this past year but I have yet to find someone in my life. I have been way too career-focused and chicken to walk up to a random stranger and say hello. Oh god! For me, it's nerve-wrecking to do that! I think it's partly the fear of rejection. We all have it and don't say you don't, because then you maybe lying to yourself.

After I felt free from the ex, I decided to go on a little dating sabbatical and just take care of me. It was glorious. I did whatever I wanted to do and didn't have to justify my actions to anyone. I got a second job and I spent a lot of hours being a bridal consultant watching all these happy couples get married. How ironic. However, I did love it and enjoyed my time working with so many happy little brides.

Well I'm back into the dating scene and I have to say that not dating for so long, I have learned a lot about myself and I'm glad that I have gotten that chance to just be me. It's been two years now since the ex and I called it quits and while I no longer have feelings for him in that way, we are semi-acquaintances that are collaborating together in potentially developing an app together. It's labeled appropriately. Ex-Wars.

So..that's IT?!!?

So with the last post, the ex came back in my life very briefly and for a split second I lost my mind. No, not in the gimme-a-straight-jacket kind, but in the yea-maybe-he-has-changed kind...  Alas no. In the weeks following that ill-fated email lots of things happened. We met up because I still had something important of his. It was awkward at first because he looked so damn good.. It didn't help that the weeks leading up to our meeting, he was texting me that he wanted a little bit of alone time with me. I, of course, just played along to his little game, never letting him know that I didn't feel the same way. That changed when I saw him that night. We didn't get a chance to really do anything but talk for about 10 minutes because my roommate came home soon after and he quickly left. Bummer!

A few weeks later, I was still receiving txts from him about how we should get together and ya know.. I always played it off and then one afternoon, I said the hell with it! If this was going to happen, it was going to happen today!! I was still attracted to him when he came over and I'm not the first to get it on with an ex so why the hell not.. I'll tell you WHY THE HELL NOT! Don't do it. It was awful. Not awful in the sense that I went home crying with my make-up smeared and begged him to come back to me. It was awful in the way where you wonder - does he even know what he's doing?

Yes, my dear friends, it was bad. Way bad. Imagine a pig going at it with all his might and not really accomplishing much. And I didn't feel a thing. Nope. Well, a little thing. I felt completely and utterly free. Gone was the desire to get back together him. Gone was the desire to ever call him again. Gone was the desire, even to remain friends with him and tell him everything about my life. It was closure. It was my closure. Everyone needs closure and this was mine. To wrap up and put away on my shelf and never look at again. I'm lucky to have that and lucky that I didn't fall into the rabbit hole and get lost all over again.

Running in circles.. where does it lead? Back to square one.

So after hours and days and weeks and months of NOT attempting to have any sort of communication at all with the ex, he drops in on my lap. How? Well via email of course! Oh gmail - I did not like opening up my daily mail and seeing a unread message waiting for me like an animal stalking it's prey.. I wanted to hit the delete button so bad and pretend I didn't see it and make it go away...sigh, but I couldn't. Curiosity totally got the best of me... but it took me one whole day to get the courage to open up the email. Pathetic? Probably.

It went something like this:

"I have been thinking things in general over a lot lately and I think I am done being angry or childish or petty or... you can pick the adjective, I am sure you have more you would like to add to my list. If you would like to be friends again then I am open to that if not I accept that too."

?@#%^*#$!!! .....

I didn't know what to say. I was absolutely speechless and as much as I wanted to say, Oh F*ck off! I just couldn't bring myself to doing that. I felt that if I did, I would be the petty one, still holding onto to all the anger, hurt, and resentment I was carrying around with me for weeks after our breakup. I calmly let my emotions simmer for a few hours before I carefully drafted a response. I told him that I appreciated the note he sent and that I wouldn't be opposed to catching up sometime but I was really busy at the moment. Then I sent him well wishes and that was it. It wasn't sappy, it wasn't bitchy, it was an informal, straight-to-the-point email that I knew was the correct response. 

I was sweating bullets when I saw that email and at the end of the whole exchange, I wasn't freaking out so much. I was going thru a small emotional turmoil inside, but who wouldn't be after the email that sent me spiraling down the rabbit hole of emotions?!

Don't you just hate it that when your life is going perfectly normal, something like this pops up out of the blue and punches you in the gut? Well it knocked me over and now I'm waiting to get back up again.

Give me a second to catch my breath. !!!

It does get better...doesn't it?

Well as for my life in the love department - things have gone a little sour. I don't know if it's because I'm soo busy with everything else or it's just that my online profile has gotten dusty. It's probably both! I went out with a guy, Mr. BlueEyes, a few weeks ago on a whim. We had only spoken over email very briefly and we exchanged numbers. I got a txt from him and I agreed to meet him at a bar late on Monday night.. super random.. I had alot of fun with this stranger who stole me in the middle of the night. He confessed that night that he had a 13 month old daughter whom he has visitation rights with. Never been married tho. whoa buddy!

I don't know how I meet all the men who all have children! I decided that I would toss my rule of not dating a man because he has children straight out the door. I wanted to give him a chance even with all the strings attached. By the end of the night..and after a few drinks, we were freely talking about ourselves and of course, the conversation led to conversations about sex. He confessed to me that he was a very sexual person and that when he goes home, he really likes to just take his clothes off and walk around the house naked!...

Well..after almost falling off the bar stool from his little tale, he brought us another round of drinks. We talked about work and clearly the conversations just led back to sex.. It always does, doesn't it? A group of people were taking jager shots at the table behind us and one of the girls asked me to take a picture of them. Sure, I said and took her camera. Then, the guys at the table told us that they had two extra shots and that we should take it with them...so of course we did! I was getting a little drunk and it was not a good way to end up at considering I had to drive back home because I wasn't planning on drinking so much. Mr. BlueEyes noticed that I was getting a little woozy and offered for me to stay at his place..Now, I don't know if this was something he was doing out of the kindness of his heart or it was just to get in my pants. Probably the latter. I politely declined his offer and then he said that if I wasn't comfortable with that I could stay in his guest room and not his bed as was his original intention. Um...hello?! Two things. One - I just met you and Two - you just previously confessed to me that you are an asshole. Yup. He said, "I'm an asshole. I have a theory that if you ever meet a nice guy who says he's a nice guy, run in the opposite direction." Excuse me, I'm confused? Are we playing mind games now? Cause if we are, I forfeit. I said no again and then he said that if I wasn't ok to drive, he would set me up with a hotel room for the night. ... aw.. cute. So after trying to get in my pants and getting rejected, he actually did a grand gesture by offering me a night at a hotel - yes, without him. Well done Mr. BlueEyes.

Busy with tulle, lace, organza, satin, silk.. oh my!

So I know I've been a little MIA for a little while, but for good reason! Too bad that my reason has absolutely nothing to do with a guy and love - which is what this blog is all about, but alas, I have had no such luck so far. I am currently holding down two jobs and the 2nd job is the best one yet! I get to make women's dreams of the perfect dress come true. Yup. That's right. Think Say Yes to the Dress! I'm now a bridal consultant and I absolutely love it. I haven't decided if I love the fact that I get to play dress up everyday or that I get to learn about the fabulous live of women who are in love. I get to play a role in their happiness and it brings me a lot of warmth to my soul that I can be a little part of their special day. I get to hear stories about their love and then their engagement. I hear a lot of different stories that all give me hope in one day being as happy as they are!

One of the cutest stories that I heard recently was from a woman whom reconnected with her soul mate after 18 years. Yup. 18 years!! Imagine that, ladies! They were close in college and just lost touch and then about a year ago, he googled her and the rest is history. Cutest. Story. Ever.

Oye Vey! At least he was upfront!

So with online dating, it is really hard to gauge how many emails one receives in a week. Some weeks are busier than others and some weeks go by without any replies to the emails I send out. Well, I've been pretty busy with work and outside projects recently that I haven't had much time to log onto Match. Without having to log onto my profile, I had an email waiting for me in the inbox of my Gmail account. I hurriedly clicked on it, wondering if maybe this was it. A great guy to go out with...WRONG. His email verbatim: 

I agree

So make a point to connect with me alive. And make your conclusion.

In short I only want to have awesome sex with a stranger who will smile when she thinks back on the memories made

best regards

Um...You agree with what exactly? What is it that brought this man to my profile and agreed to some unwritten question or statement on my profile that stated I wanted awesome sex with a stranger?! If my profile says this "in between the lines" I will 100% go and change it to make it perfectly clear, that is NOT the reason I'm online! I went to his profile to be curious as to what he was all about. It turns out that he is only in the area for a short time visiting family and is basically horny beyond all reasoning and is looking for that "special someone" RIGHTNOW. Hm..Just a thought.. Ya know, Mr. HornyRightNow, maybe...just m-a-y-b-e if you fixed those spelling mistakes and random typos throughout your profile, you might just get a reply back and get lucky.....Oooooooor... You can keep your STDs sooo.. Prob not.

Prince Charming.. where does your castle reside?

So after my disastrous night with Nipple boy, I had to find a night and redeem myself. There was no way that the start of my new year was going to be like THAT so I lined up a date with another guy whom I know thru another friend. This time, I was assured that he was perfect. Pish! No one is REALLY perfect. They always have a flaw somehow. At least from what I've noticed! We met up in Georgetown at this cute little restaurant Mei n Yu. Super cute title! He picked it. *wow* We were escorted to our table in the back of the restaurant and I scrambled to get out of my coat. He rushed to help and gave the coat to the hostess who placed it in coat check. I was delighted that he was such a gentleman!

I decided that I would try something completely new at this cute little fancy restaurant. Eeep! The food prices were more than I had expected but casually pretended not to notice. He proceeded to tell me that he had been there before a long time ago and that the food was amazing. We ordered a pitcher of blue alcohol, some hummus and a delightful description of steak and lamb. After the waiter took our order, PC began to tell me a little bit about himself. He was pretty much a well-traveled guy that believed in karma and that anything was possible. I stared into his clear blue eyes, mesmerized by his stories and his fascination with the world. Intermittently I described who I was, what I did for a living and what I wanted to accomplish he life. He asked me so many questions about myself and it was just really easy to divulge in everything that was me. I asked him how 2011 was shaping up so far for him and he replied, "2011 is going off to a great start because first thing this morning, I woke up to find a text from you." Awww....hearts melted from here to China! He made me feel like I was the only one in the room and I'm not sure if it was because he was really into me or if it was the mysterious blue liquid he ordered.

We continued to talk for a long time at the restaurant and ordered a second pitcher of this mysterious blue substance. It tasted like paradise and made me feel loopy as if I was floating on cloud nine....now this could have been the drink or the man sitting across from me at dinner who just fascinated me. I just couldn't tell. The bill came and he slyly took it from the waiter and paid for our meal. I objected to him paying for the whole thing, but he insisted so I didn't argue. I'm pretty sure it was a hefty bill and felt bad but his smile reassured me that I had nothing to worry about. We went to get my coat and that's when I realized that he had only placed my jacket in coat check and had let his get wrinkled next to him in the booth. Aw...he really didn't have to put my coat in coat check. I could have just mangled it in my seat next to me and it would have been perfectly fine. I retrieved my jacket and he insisted on covering coat check as well. It was pretty early in the evening, so we walked to the nearest bar to continue having drinks.

We proceeded to talk the night away while casually drinking and I was just smitten. After I was already tumbling down the rabbit hole, I discovered something that completely jerked me back to reality...Mr. Prince Charming doesn't live in the DC area... *screeeeeecchhh!* Brake!!!! Hold the phone people!!! He lives on the west coast and has family here, but doesn't know where he will end up next year after his current job contract comes up for renewal. Now, I'm an advocate for relationships in general...ahem..however, when a person whom you want to get romantically involved with clearly doesn't live in the same zip code, the same state, let alone the same COAST?!?!...It might be a good idea to pull the emergency brake before anyone gets in too deep. I just don't think that long distance relationship can actually work. It might work for some people, but they just don't work for me. And yes, I've tried it.

After my beautiful fantasy was shattered by a zipcode, he walked me to my car. He asked me if I wanted to come hang out with him at his house but fumbled around the idea because he was staying with family while he was in town. I currently resided further away from where we were so it made no sense to go back to my place. As much as I just wanted to climb into his car and drive away into the night, sensible me took over and declined the offer....OMG.. Did I want to get into that car?!?!! We had that awkward moment every couple has at the end of their first date.. "The-omg-are-we-going-to-kiss-should-i-kiss-you-or-wait-for-you-to-kiss-me moment" AWKWARD! Ugh. I wanted to kiss him but then it meant tumbling down the rabbit hole once more and I was not ready to really start a relationship of any kind with someone on the other side of the continent. I had the most amazing first date with an amazing guy whom was just perfect. I had my doubts before the date and at the end of it...Yup. He's perfect all right. Charming, good looks, great smile, wonderful spirit. All around - delicious package. But not for me. Not now...Sigh...Cinderella went home at midnight and Prince Charming flew back to his castle on the west coast. What a sad and absolutely fantastic night. Would I do it again? Absolutely, Yes!

Nipple boy..get over yourself.

Sigh.. so the guys you meet thru your friends are not always the way to go when looking for a date. A girlfriend of mine introduced me to Nipple boy a few years ago and she thought he would be a good guy to get to know better. Yea, he was cute, but I was kinda seeing someone at the time and I didn't want to start a relationship that I couldn't commit to. Then a few months later, we saw each other and he was wasted. Completely bat-shit wasted! I was in a serious relationship then and he went bat-shit crazy because he was bat-shit wasted...He said some completely obscene things that I will not repeat and harassed me to no end about the guy I was seeing. Needless to say, I just ignored him and left shortly after our little encounter.

About a year later, he found me on a social networking site and we chatted for a few days. He asked me out on a date and I figured that a year had gone by so maybe he had grown up. I agreed to meet up a few days later for dinner. I found out so much about him and he seemed completely harmless so I agreed to meet up with him again.

Fast forward to a ridiculous holiday where the expectations of the night are extremely high...I didn't have concrete plans for that night and was just going to wing it and end up at whatever party fancied me. I got a txt from Nipple boy asking me where I was and what I was doing for the night. I said that I didn't know and would get back to him. About an hour later, my phone dinged with a txt from him telling me that he needed to know where I was so that he could kiss me at the stroke of midnight. At this point I already had taken a few shots to take the edge off of the night and didn't think when I txted him the approximate location to where I was headed. I never told him to meet me there. Less than 10 minutes of arriving to my destination, I got a phone call from a very drunk Nipple boy telling me he was downstairs and needed to be buzzed in... Ummmmm..WHAT?!?!

I agreed to come down and let him in only because he told me that he had paid the cab driver to drive him from VA to DC. I felt bad he had driven across state lines to meet with me. Even tho, I never invited him to. I let him in the building and on the elevator ride up, he corned me in the elevator and we started making out. I pushed him aside and said the only way to hang out with me was if he was going to behave... behave my ass!

The rest of the evening consisted of me talking to my friends, while he brooded quietly in the corner with his arms across his chest. He watched me like a hawk and it was too eerily for my liking. Every move I made, I could feel his eyes just wandering over me possessively and never letting me out of his sight. He was there less than an hour when all one of my friends asked me to dance.. sure why the f* not? I was barely moving on the dance floor when he came up behind my friend and tapped him on the shoulder. My friend responded, "My bad dude, is this your girl?" I shook my head and said, "No, we're not dating." Nipple boy got pissed off and stormed away looking for his jacket. When he couldn't find it, he found me and demanded that I get his jacket so he could leave. I didn't know that by letting people know the truth that we were not dating constituted making a scene and storming off.

I asked if he wanted me to walk him downstairs and he just replied, "Don't do me any favors." I said, "It's not a favor. I want to." He just grabbed the jacket out of my hands said said again, "Don't do me any favors." I felt bad but there was no reason for him to leave so abruptly. He called me twice in less than two minutes and I didn't pick up because I didn't know what to say. I was about to send him an apology txt when he txts me, "I come to what? Thanks alot. This is how I get done." Excuse me? what? I never said, "Yes, please Nipple boy, come to this party with me! I want you!" There was no need for that txt. I checked my profile on a social networking site a few minutes later and in my mini feed pops up his status about how life is game and he is going to play it..you know who you are. W.T.F. Oh honey please!!!

I didn't realize two things. A - That we are five year olds and being completely ridiculous was in our nature and B- That apparently I was HIS girl and not allowed to speak to anyone of the opposite sex and if I did mr. caveman would come and whisk me back to his cave. He was completely out of line and not to mention bat-shit wasted again. I have come to the conclusion that when sober, Nipple boy is a great guy to hang out with. The minute that a drop of alcohol touches his tongue, prince charming turns into Maleficent and wants to keep me forever captive in his dragon lair. WTF. No thanks. If I wanted to meet a psychotic alcoholic, I would just go online. (No offense to my fellow online daters, but not everyone is sweet and nice) I've had my fair share of ridiculous first dates and would rather much go down memory lane with a stranger than with a possessive and jelaous Nipple boy.

P.S. The reason for his nickname? Well mr. classy has pierced nipples and it just so happens that at one point in time, he had that as his profile picture. Well done darlin'. well done.

Happy New Year!

Hey guys! I just wanted to wish everyone a great new year to come. I have high hopes for 2011 and I think this year is going to be a great one. I have a feeling that great things will come in 2011 and I do wish all of you the best. Make resolutions this year and plan on keeping them. Live each day like it's your last and never be afraid of the possibilities! Happy 2011!

Vajayjays and Wangs Galore!

Oh.. the joy of meeting someone new online! There are the emails that you exchange, the IM chats you pour over, and the txt messages that you decipher. Normally, this is what happens online...you know a few exchanges is the norm, but not this time. Mississippi is the guy who went straight from one email exchange to one chat, to the first date. I made the first move and sent him a quick note letting him know that I was interested in him. He curtly responded back and I didn't think anything more of it.

Then, late one night, I was just checking my email and I get a ping from someone who wanted to IM me. Mississippi! I agreed to talk and we had a quick chat to which he revealed that he was a medical student and had barely any free time. I was in the middle of baking cookies for work for the next day so I wrapped up the conversation and we agreed to meet at a sushi place a few days later. He told me he had a sweet tooth so I said that I would bring him cookies for our first date. He was ecstatic and said that he was lucky he had a met a girl that was not only beautiful but liked to bake as well. Cute! It melted my heart right then and there. He was super sweet and I was beginning to have a major crush on this guy. 

We met up for sushi and before I got out of the car, I quickly checked his profile again. I was debating on wearing heels or low boots but I wasn't sure how tall he was. I realized that he was way shorter than I thought he was...5 7'! Eeeeep...I decided on the low boots because I didn't want to be taller than him. I know that height shouldn't really matter that much but for whatever reason, I could not get his height out of my head! I went ahead on the date because it really isn't a huge deal breaker. He was really easy to talk to and he told me ridiculous stories. The best ones include his next door neighbor, who showed on his doorstep because he got kicked out of his house. The neighbor asked him if he could spend the night and in exchange he would....GET THIS..."suck his cock." When he said that, I almost choked on my wine! He quickly responded, "No, thanks. I'm not gay." His neighbor said, "that's ok. I can suck dick real good so trust me, you will like it." WHAT?!?! WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS?! Wow! I really didn't know how to respond. How do you respond to something like that?

Then he tells me how he was at the airport a while back and a rand-o guy solicited him for sex. Um...Seriously?! Stop with the gay porn talk. Really. Just stop!! After getting over that shock, he proceeded to tell me that he had just finished a rotation and was really interested in going into the OBGYN route. Ok...Let me get this straight...First, he tells me that his neighbor tried to entice him into sucking his wang, then he tells me about his solicitor for sex, but the best part was that he finishes by telling me he wants to examine vajayjays for a living? WHAT!? Who am I on a date with? He seemed so normal at first and so charming. I dunno. Maybe he was nervous on the first date? But really tho, was he? Was he?!?!

Sigh. I always attract the most strangest men. I really really do. He was leaving for a family vaca the next day so he wasn't going to be reachable for a week. Thank goodness! I needed a bit of time to process all that I had learned about him in one night. Maybe we'll go out again...or maybe not. It's not his height that bothered me anymore but all the rest of the sex talk that came about that night.. vajayjays and wangs. Just a little too much... too soon.

Boredom..Not a Word That Should Be Used to Describe a Date

Bored. Normally I'm not bored during a date but this time I was. I met Boredom at a restaurant in Tyson's Corner and I thought I was going in for a really good date. We had met on Match and we corresponding with alot of emails in the previous days preceding the date. I found out that he lives super far from me and his mom does art for a local art market so I was excited to meet him. I figured we had alot in common on that aspect. He seemed like a decent guy and not a crazy weirdo like the other men I have encountered recently. I got there before him and ordered a drink at the bar while I waited for him to show up. He apparently had parked really far so I had to wait about 10 minutes for him to show up. No biggie. I'm normally late to most of my dates anyway and I know its bad, but I have tried really hard not to be so damn late. Anyway, he shows up and we had this awkward "Nice to meet you moment" and we walked to the hostess stand to grab a table. I went to close out my tab at the bar and followed them into the dining area.

Wowzers!! The restaurant he picked out was way pricey for entrees. It was a seafood place and they only really had one chicken option and two steak options on the menu. I'm not a big chicken fan but the price of the rest of the entrees was pretty high and I didn't want to give off a bad vibe so I ordered a salad. In his profile, he says he really likes salmon. At dinner, he said he didn't want to get salmon because he gets that all the time...however 10 minutes later when we are ordering our meal, he orders the salmon and looks at me and says, "sorry, I just had to get it." I don't care, but as he says this, I'm realizing that he really likes to stay within his norm and not deviate too much outside of it. I say this because the restaurant he chose was one in which he frequents for happy hours. Nothing wrong with that, but I would have hoped for a little more variety from him. Oh well.

So we divulge in conversation and I feel like I am doing most of the talking. I try to ask him questions about his life and what he does to have fun. I find out that he puts together model airplanes with his slightly younger brother...ok..pause. His younger brother is 25... I ask him if he goes out alot and he proceeds to tell me that he did all of the drinking and partying in his younger years and that he is done with all of that. He is only 33. Odd. OK. I asked him where he went to college and he tells me that he didn't go and wasn't something he was interested in. He says he makes good money now so there's no point in going now. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I like people to be somewhat ambitious in life. I dunno. Maybe I'm just asking for too much, but I don't think so.

Anyway, I continue asking him about his life and he really runs out of things to say. He concludes with "My life is pretty boring and I find yours very interesting so tell me more about you." Um.... not really what I want to hear, especially on our first date. I don't know what else to say at this point because I feel like I have talked his ear off and my throat is dry trying to keep the conversation going. We get to the point where I really have nothing else to say and we just sit there quietly. Pretty much an awkward silence...To save the date from going downhill, I suggest we go. We pay the bill and he tells me that he will walk me to my car. We get outside and he stops before the parking garage and asks me where I parked. I point in the direction of my car and he says, "Ok, it was really nice to meet you." Then he goes in for a hug and I'm a little shocked. I say goodbye and walk to my car by myself. It was an awkward moment but I'm glad he didn't walk me to my car because I make a split second decision and go back into the mall for a little Christmas shopping. The date might have been boring but that doesn't mean I have to go home with nothing to show for it!

All clamed up and absolutely nothing to say!

So last night I saw one of the hottest guys I have seen in a long time. Seeing one of these at a bar around here is super rare! For those of you who don't know. DC ranked #6 for the least attractive people in the nation according to Travel + Leisure....ouch! For the article, click here. So when you see this hot amazing man, you just have to go up to him and say hi, right? ugh..I couldn't. I didn't. I was completely tongued-tied the whole night! When we first get there, I saw a girl who looked exactly like Rose McGowan from Charmed...even with the enormous boobs. I say this because all she had on was a tank top and a push-up bra. It was hard NOT to notice. A few minutes later, in walks Tuxedo. This hot man was wearing a suit jacket, tie, and slacks...to a bar. Definitely not the casual look that most men choose when they go out to a bar. Again, it was hard not to notice this hottie all dressed up and about 6'2. He walked by us to get a drink at the bar and all I could do was stare. He walked back in our direction but at his point, it was super crowded and we were packed in there like sardines. I got closer to him as he walked by and my elbow definitely grazed his ass. Perfect. Of course, he didn't notice.. Ugh. If only I could have just bumped into him and started a conversation, but alas, no. I just couldn't do that.

I must have looked like some crazy stalker chick as the night progressed because I would just walk by him and stare. I know he didn't notice because he just stood there watching everyone else around me. He almost looked like he was too bored to bother being there. It was kinda odd. If only I hadn't been a non-blabbering mute all night, I probably would have gone up to him and started chatting. Alas, I was not the lucky one. Charmed girl went up to him and at the end of the night, they exchanged phone numbers. Oh well. I missed my chance. I went to close my tab at the end of the night. As I waited for my tab, I saw him approaching the bar. He stood next to me and it took me about 5 minutes too long to say something to him because when I finally had the courage to just say hi, he was gone. I saw the back of his head disappearing into the crowd. I don't know what came over me. I just couldn't even mutter a simple hello. I know better and I hope next time I won't be such a mute!

A Not So Lonely Cab Ride Home

A night on the town is always a lot of fun when you mix alcohol and great friends. However, in order to be safe, it's never a good idea to drink and drive so metro is the way to go into the city. The only draw back is that you have to leave and make it in time before the doors close....yea.. I'm normally running late everywhere and this was definitely not an exception. So, of course we missed the metro and had to catch a cab. Oh cab rides are always fun, aren't they? This one had to be one of the most interesting ones I've had.

It all started because we couldn't grab a suitable cab so a handsome young man came to our rescue and asked if we wanted to share his cab. Um.. yes?! He prepaid the driver to get him from DC to his destination and when we hopped in, we only had to pay a fraction of the price of a normal cab ride home. SWEET! I got in and rode bitch on the ride home. He said he was grateful that we came along so he didn't have to get home by himself...then, he grabbed my hand and started caressing my arm. I ignored him because he was pretty drunk so I continued talking to my friend. Then he grabbed my other hand and started to place it on his lap. I was fighting back laughter and didn't know what to say to him. I took my hand away numerous times but he consistently tried to get me to hold his hands. Soon after he was making out with my arm and I couldn't stop from laughing. He was slobbering all over and trying to get me to leave my hand in his lab.. ie his crotch. We made it back home and he was desperately trying to come inside with us. I left Mr. Arm Sucker in the cab and told the cabbie to take him home. I really don't know how I attract these men but it's hilarious that I do. The only reason why I even played along with him was because he was drunk and we got a cheap cab ride home. Would I do it again? Eh, prob not. I'll dish out the loot to make it safely without a guy sucking on my arm.

Guitar Hero...Rock my what?

Phew! I thought I wasn't going to get a decent reply from these guys online anytime soon! Although, Guitar Hero was not what I would typically call the "online man." I say this because instead of the "hi, how r ya?" email.. I get "Hi, *insert funny line here*. I am not really one for this email thing, so let's meet up for appetizers and drinks?" It took me a day or so to get back to him for various reasons. A - I've been busy with work and more work. B - It's a very straightforward approach but at least he didn't ask for massages and to spend the night when we meet. C - I'm not one for facial hair and he pretty much had a full-on beard in all his pictures. Not a big fan but either way, I decided to email him back and agree. You really can't be picky about facial hair like that. I mean you can't be THAT shallow all the time now can you?

The response I got wasn't really what I thought he would say. Instead of the "sure, let's meet up Tuesday at 6 after work." I got "I have plans for guys night out to watch football on Sunday. You should come with a friend so we could all hang out." Uhh...what? Again, I didn't really know what to say to this. I mean, do I show up with said friend and meet his friend and almost have a blind double date? Soo awkward. The first time you meet someone has to be better than, "Hey Joe, this is uh...Jen? and her friend....uh...Lucy. We just met right now." Nooooo! Who does that? I politely declined his offer a few days later and agreed to meet late after work the following week.

It turned out to be a pretty casual meeting. I seriously didn't recognize him when I saw him. First off, he doesn't look like his pictures. Second, the beard was missing! So if you don't look like yourself in your pictures to begin with and you don't have the beard either, how the hell am I supposed to find you?! We both had a great time with alot of talking and laughing. I'm a big talker. Like HUGE talker. I never know when to shut up at times but its hard to keep it going with a stranger for hours. I had a little bit of help keeping the conversation up. Guitar Hero knew the bartender and he kept coming over to talk to us. I was eying the bartender. He was sizzling. Like WAY sizzling. Think young Brad Pitt (Thelma and Louse style). Delish! I found out this particular bartender is afraid of commitment and has a 2 year girlfriend. He mentioned how she has been asking to move-in together but he really can't commit to it whatsoever. Poor gal. He said it would probably happen at least a year from now and then he started laughing, "She probably would have broken up with me by then if I do that!" Sad. If she wants to leave him earlier, I can take him off her hands! ;)

Sorry, back to Guitar Hero. I got distracted but it was hard not to. It was Thelma and Louse style! Tell me you know about Thelma and Louse style! Google it! I promise you won't be disappointed. After about 3 hours of non-stop talking I was slowly winding down and wanted sleep. He quickly noticed that I was failing fast and he gave me an out. He asked if we could see each other again and I agreed. It was a pretty normal date compared to the others that I've been on so why the hell not? He then apologized in advance for his lack of calling and texting because he is normally pretty busy with work. Guitar Hero wanted to make sure that I knew he wasn't blowing me off if I didn't get an immediate response from him. Sure sure. No worries mister.

We got up from our bar stools and he helped me get into my jacket. It was a pretty funny sight since I was trying desperately to get my arm thru the one side but was failing miserable. It took me about 5 minutes to get my stupid coat on and I felt like an idiot. It was almost like watching a dog chase his tail over and over and over again... Oh well, it was pretty funny if you were watching us. He opened doors for me as we left the bar and walked me to my car. It was sweet and cute. What was not sweet and cute was our good bye. Again totally not what I expected. More awkward than anything. I opened my door to the car and he jumped on me to give me a big bear hug and a huge smack on the cheek with his lips. "Thanks for meeting me tonight," he said and with that, he bounced right back to the bar. He startled me and left me with a big fat question mark floating around on the top of my head.. you know, like the ones in the cartoons.

During those 3 hours, I found out some interesting details about Guitar Hero's life. Little tidbits: has played guitar for a good 20 years of his life, went to college for years (over 4) but didn't finish (interesting detail here since he didn't get that magical piece of paper after 4+ years), was in a frat in college, now a manager of a major electronics store, going to get his BA or BS soon (round deux), goes to the same bar all the time (the bar he asked to meet at was the same one he wanted to meet on Sunday and same one he went to for Halloween), lives next door to lesbians (which he really really really enjoys), and has grown up in this area (knows how boring it is to live here which is a plus!). At least its much better than Snip-Snip...Now that was just too much information for one sober night. Guitar Hero, I can handle.

Not all Fireman are all that hot

Gone are the days in college where you met a guy at a party and go home with him. However, not everyone is done with the phase and it continues on. Oh how I wish I wasn't looking for love, but I am. I think I deserve something more than a quick one night stand, but some guys don't think so. Fireman sent me a message on Match.com and I responded with just a quick, "How are ya?" Well I think he took that as an open invitation to try to get into my panties. The conversation started very innocent and it turned sexual pretty quickly. I said I was tired and he responded that he could come over and give me a massage. Um....maybe? Then I mentioned I was going to dinner with friends and he wanted to come, but I said that its not possible because he lives 2 hours away. His response, "yeah i would have to spend the night. Will you let me?" Uh.. I haven't met you dude, wtf? At least Babies was willing to pay for a hotel room for the night if I said yes to meeting him again. Why do men think that by gaining their attention, it's an open invitation for anything. It seems that anything is fair game. No, it's really not.

"Snip"pets of Information

Wouldn't it be amazing if a good friend of yours hit the nail on the head and tried to set you up with a charming and perfect man? Yup. It would be. However, life isn't perfect...and neither are the men. If you know one, send him this way please. The night started off in a pretty casual way considering I wasn't planning on going out but I got persuaded to just meet up with a good girlfriend of mine at her place. Then she informed me that a hot guy was coming over as well. Yipee! Men!

She introduced me to this guy and I thought he was adorable. Much better looking than she hinted at. I didn't want to make it too obvious that I was totally into him so I played it cool almost as if I couldn't care less but still interested enough to pay attention to what he was saying. Well it didn't matter if I had been paying close attention or not because I found out so much about him! Too much almost. First, I found out that he was a divorcé and there is nothing wrong with that. In fact, I embrace it. It means that he has been thru a marriage and for one reason or another, it just didn't work out.

Soon after, he slipped in that he had fun the other day with his son. Whoa. What? Son?! How was this not told to me prior to meeting him?! After I digested this snippet of information, more things came out about his life. He was telling a story about how drunk he was one night and couldn't remember what he had done but it included girls and it was bad. Someone interjected "Oh you might have more kids in *insert foreign country here*." To which he responded, "Yea I dont think so. Two is enough and the only way that's possible is to visit a doctor again." Uhhhhh..what?!?!!? Did I just hear right? First off, its not one kid but TWO. Yup...Deux. He spoke of them highly and I'm sure they are great kids, but man.. kids. THEN, the vasectomy! Whoa dude! Whoa. He got a vasectomy!!! holy moly! My jaw dropped to the floor and my head snapped in his direction. Kinda obvious? Yup. But I mean come on...It's hard NOT to react to something like that. So yea I just met Snip-Snip...um, oh i dunno...about an hour prior to learning all of this about him. Ugh, too bad he had to tell me this things on day one. These are pieces of your life that you have to sprinkle in a conversation. SPRINKLE! NOT smother!

Oh I have mixed feelings about this but Snip-Snip really was pretty hot. So, can I get past all of that information and have a decent conversation with this guy later on down the road? I'm not so sure, but I can try. I'm sure that I will probably see him again considering he is friends with my friend so all I can do is smile and nod. Oh Snip-Snip you were so darn cute.

Too bad we can't screen them first.

Missed Connections

So here's something to ponder...If you see a stranger on the street and you lock eyes but neither one of you makes a move, do you get a second chance? Chances are no. If you don't make the move now, it will probably never happen. You will miss your opportunity and will probably never see them again. You can get on craiglist and post a missed connection or post an ad someplace else, but what are the odds that the other person is also searching for you too? Pretty freaking slim! Either way, you do it anyway in hopes of finding them again.

Well I posted and of course he won't see it!

So I know this is a long shot but I thought I would try. You opened the door as I was walking out and stopped short because you would have ran into me. Your buddy ran into you and gave me a funny face. You held the door for me and I laughed and said Thank you. I heard your friend give you a snide comment to which you responded "I was opening the door for her!" I turned around as I walked away and said "Sorry" and smiled. I thought you were cute. I saw that you were still staring at me. I wish I would have walked back in there and just talked to you. If you find this, we should meet up :P

But I did it anyway. Why not? He really was cute!

Halloween..A night to dress up and play make believe

Oh Halloween. Don't you love it? Everyone dresses up as something they are not and goes out on the town to paint it red. It's my favorite time of the year and it never fails to deliver a devastatingly handsome guy. Altho, it didn't start out so smooth. Going out to a bar that I frequent is dangerous considering I met Bartender there a few weeks ago. Eeek! I think I could be more receptive to the idea of Bartender if he wasn't so odd. For starters, he always goes to the bar alone...and what is it with that pizza eating thing he does?! Don't get me wrong - I have gone to the bar alone too, but I don't do it ALL the time! Something doesn't seem right here. Anyway, he calls my name and I turn but didn't expect to see him standing there grinning at me. Deer in the headlights = ME! "Uhhhhhh...." I froze in place and didn't know what to say except stupidly, "Hi." He runs over and gives me a hug and the only thing I could say was that I was looking for my friends and that I have to find them. He said I looked good and then I turned my heels and walked away. I didn't really know what to say. He totally caught me off guard and the only thing I could do was run away. I quickly found my friends and simultaneously got a txt, "At the bar, come join for a drink." Um..No thanks. With that, I left and moved on to the next bar. I had to get out of there and see what else I could get my hands on. ;-)

The next bar was just as dashing as the first and where I met Gladiator. It was late in the night and I was too tired to stand anymore so I casually sat on a bar stool while my friends danced their little hearts away. A drunk stranger approached me and picked me up off the bar stool to tell me that I need to dance with....another random stranger! Said stranger was nonetheless Gladiator. I think he was dressed up as Julius Caesar but my friends kept calling him Gladiator so it stuck. We danced for maybe 30 seconds and then drunk Gladiator walked away from me. Ouch. Sting!! I cared but was also glad considering I was too tired to stand anymore.

I went back to my lonely bar stool and as I sat there, Gladiator comes up next to me and asks if I want to dance. I politely say no that I'm too tired so he decides to sit next to me. He starts talking to me and wants to know my age and what I do. I tell him the cordial details of my life and he gets really close to my face and starts to caress my cheek. He guesses my age at 21 (I wish!!) and I shake my head no. When I tell him my real age, his eyes get really big and he sluggishly (but in a cute way) says, "HHOOOT." He proceeds to caress the corners of my eyes and stammers "But you don't have any wrinkles!" Hahaha.. Whoa! I didn't see that one coming! I thought it was hilarious more than insulting and said to him, "Nope. Sorry to disappoint ya!" He whispers close to me, "I want to make out with you right now." I laugh and tell him that I do not even know his name! Which is very true considering we had only been talking for maybe ten minutes at this point. When he tells me his name he tries to kiss me and misses my lips but kisses my cheek. I push him away and he looks completely disheartened and says, "I am a devastatingly handsome guy who goes to a prestigious East coast school and is getting his Masters. Why would you not want to make out with me?" With that, he grabs my face and starts going to town on my lips. Wow! I couldn't tell if he was a good kisser or not because there was alot of teeth involved in this kiss. I finally came up for air and all I could do was giggle like a school girl! Oh.. why the hell not?

We were making out like barbarians and I just didn't care. I was having too much fun...plus it was Halloween! We got on the dance floor and danced around like fools continuously making out with each passing minute. The bar was shutting down and I turned to say goodbye to Gladiator but he insisted that I take his number. We exchanged numbers and with a magnificent kiss, we said goodbye. It was sweet. I'm not sure if he will remember my name or even me when he wakes up Sunday morning but I could always reach out to him right? He is saved in my phone as Caesar..true story. We shared a great night and a great goodbye kiss if nothing else. He was charming and drunk so who knows what will happen when he sobers up. All in all, an amazing night was had by all and I shared a sweet kiss with a devastatingly handsome stranger. Let's do it again soon! Same time next week?

No, you're really not famous so stop it!

A night on the town always leads to great stories and it never fails! It also leads to two numbers! To start the night off, I get a text from Bartender asking me what I was up to. I mentioned that I was in the city and his response was "Oh I ended up there last night." Um...Ok, so because I said no to coming over, I guess he went out after our date to see if he could get laid. Well good for him! My guess is that it didn't go well since he texted me asking what I was up to. Sorry Bartender. Better luck next time.

The first number was from a guy who was a Cheeseball. Yes my dear friends. He introduced himself as *insert name here* and it was proceeded by "You know like *insert hot famous man here with the same first name as him*" I have to say that I haven't heard that line before and I rolled my eyes and laughed. It got me talking to him so I guess it worked. Right? Altho talking wasn't really what he was after. Cheeseball asked me to dance and I agreed to go out on the cramped dance floor. There was no room to move out there and it gave Cheeseball the opportunity to dance pretty close to me. I have to say that he was pretty aggressive in leading but it was quite funny to watch him try to grind on my leg. Um... Do you think that's attractive? Well he definitely enjoyed it because I could tell. I could REALLY tell. *wink. After his performance on the dance floor, he asked for my number to meet up with him again. I know that he was pretty drunk and I wasn't sure he was even going to remember my name but he was really cute so I agreed. I haven't decided if this was a good idea or not.

After leaving the bar I walked back to my car and ran into some drunk guys yelling out random things. There were two groups and later I found out some were Marines and some were in the Army. Why I decided to stop and chat with them, I don't know. After much bantering, I drove two of them to their hotel because I didn't have anything better to do. Also, because I had seen them earlier in the evening and thought one of them was hot but completely taken...aka. Left hand ring finger. I found out he was in the Army and stationed in Germany and that him and his friend were leaving in a few days. Oh well. At least we had one night to chat. We exchanged numbers to see if we could all hang out the next day.. no, I didn't get the married guy's number -That's just wrong! It would have been fun to hang out again, but I was way too busy preparing for Halloween and all the festivities that come with that.  All in all, I think it was a pretty good night with great laughs and good people.

And the Sparks...Don't Fly!

I finally agreed to go out with Bartender again. I thought maybe I'd give him another chance and decided to meet up for a drink or two at a bar. Again, he ordered pizza...and again he demolished the poor thing. It looked like he ripped it to shreds. He said that it was burnt which is why he ate it like that... It's just so odd. It also makes it worse that this is our second meeting and he's done this pizza thing twice. Creature of habit?

It was a really great conversation but it fizzled quickly. I ran out of things to talk about and he took that as a sign to leave. He asked if I would go back to his place and watch a movie...It was around 1am. I might have considered going had he not completely insisted on it. Bartender admitted to trying to entice me with cable. Yup. He said, "I've got cable. You should come over." REALLY?! Cable?! Sigh.. I politely declined and he insisted on going for walk. Oh sure. What the hell? Well we conveniently ended up in front of his building and he asked again about coming over. I said no and steered him towards my car.

We hugged goodbye and he kissed me on the cheek. However, as I was pulling away from the hug something happened and all too quickly I found myself kissing him. Yup. Smooching the man who clearly only wanted me to come home with him. I would have embraced it had I felt something when we kissed. There were no fireworks. There were no sparklers. There really wasn't even smoke! My leg didn't levitate like it does in the movies when the girl gets the guy. Nope. Sad. Surely I would have enjoyed the kiss from a man whose company was pretty good. But alas, this wasn't the case. Maybe my next kiss will be much better?